Alone till the end

Here in this lonely corner, 
I watch the world go by, 
waiting for someone to stop,
and maybe just say hi.

Here in this lonely corner,
where I curl up and cry,
tears of lonely sadness,
trying to avoid saying goodbye.

Here in this lonely corner,
a corner of remorse and old lies,
I am the one who smiles,
while still drying my eyes.

Here in this lonely corner,
I wish for friends and family ties,
I wish for joy and happiness
in other people's lives.

Here in this lonely corner,
this corner where I cry,
missing friends and family past,
waiting for my time to die.

Here in this lonely corner,
it's time to say goodbye,
time to end my sorrow,
it's time for me to die.

From the Razor to the Rosary - 4 < secret_society123 and Our Battles >

From   the Razor to the Rosary

I sat there, focusing on finishing my dinner while Deb worked hard shielding my ears from the din my mom was making. She was being utterly ridiculous and out of her mind again. Sue held me tight while Cat told me she would be meeting me later and went off to the washroom to sharpen her nails.

Still, despite Deb’s efforts, I could still hear the rubbish my mom was ranting shrewdly non-stop. I couldn’t be more dissed. She’s just got nothing better to do. Spite me with her snide remarks and yell in my ear about some crap, that’s her favorite past-time.

I tried to maintain my composure and poker face while trying to stifle a laugh.

She was now screeching a long list of profoundly noble things she did for me and how I was being an ungrateful brat and not showing that I’m thankful.

e.g.: Giving birth to me. I almost choked on my noodles.

Oh my god. I adore you so much. I really thankful for that.

I felt like screaming in her face.

“Just quit it! Did I ask to be born? That’s actually the most unfortunate thing that ever happened in my life!”

I didn’t actually say that, but I almost did.

She ranted on, slamming me for every single action I did ever since I stepped foot on Earth and every bit of thing she did for me that I was supposed to be really thankful for.

Yeah, really.

Though, I just carried on with my noodles as though nothing too bothersome was happening. It’s a flair I have for acting nonchalant about earthly matters. Much of the credit goes to Deb, too, I mustn’t forget. She’s usually doing the job of blocking out the noise, so I can carry on with my life largely undisturbed by some lesser mortals.

Bitch please.

I ate my last strand of noodle and went back to my room, Deb slamming the door behind me. No more noise. Good.

I remembered Cat waiting for me. Indeed she was. On the bed she sat, with her (freshly) sharpened, polished nails. Her face lit up at the sight of me.

“Ready?”

I nodded, holding out my hand.

Once again, she slid those fingernails down my skin. There was a warm, fuzzy feeling. My soul lifted. My lips curled into a smile.

After it was all over, I wiped off the blood and chucked the blood-stained tissues into the bin. Looking at my split skin, an overwhelming rush of guilt suddenly washed over me.

I feel good.

But I am letting her hurt me.

Is this right?

Sue and Deb sat in a corner watching silently, neither of them coming forward to stop Cat or say anything about the matter.

Isn’t Deb supposed to protect me from getting hurt? Why isn’t she stopping Cat?

I didn’t know. I didn’t want to ask them either. Suddenly I had a feeling they mightn’t be here to help after all.

I let the matter slip out of my head as bedtime approached and Izzy arrived, knocking me over with a bear hug.