Hey I have a wish
You just needa give your wand a swish
I don’t want to waste my breath
I said I wished for death
No, I’m not being a drama queen
Nor is it in any way related to being a teen
Let me fall asleep and never wake up
Then my existence will cease to disrupt
My family I had wanted to poison
I thought maybe I would never be forgiven ( probably )
Getting arsenic mailed causes suspicion
Or maybe some meds I could have stolen
The simplicity of an ending I once believed
Now I know ain’t that easy achieved
Don’t say I’m a coward
‘cos ‘tis just the life that flowered
You can insist otherwise
My reaction shouldn’t be of much of a surprise
With you I haven’t needed to put on a disguise
Yet you turned out just the same as the others likewise
Don’t judge till you’ve worn my shoes and walked a thousand miles
I really wanna make you be happy so I’d give you all smiles
Chill! In the end everyone dies
Before that maybe give me some fries ( I love potatoes! )
Maybe also use your knife and give me a slice
You know to me it’s a prize
Life is a game that's hard to play
It will still happen one day so why delay
Here in this lonely night I pray
Soon in the casket I might lay
To all my dearest it’s okay
I had chosen it to be this way
Fine you can call me an ungrateful brat
I won’t let that in any way distract
I will still carry this out with no regret
I’m no longer going to live staying trapped
I’m sure now you’d just despise me further
Well in this universe I’m just an observer
Whoever created humans made an error
Live any longer, in other’s life I’m just a terror
I know you guys all hate me
I’ve accepted all ‘cos that’s true presumably
Though nowadays, not like I care
I’ve sunk down to the bottom of the well of despair
In me there’s a really huge tear
Of it I reckon I’m aware
It’s just that I’m not sure where
Anyways, it’s already too late to repair
I know this world is unfair
Fairness is actually indeed rare
But you know, humans just like things to be fair
It’s a trait we all share
There's no way my family and I can coexist
Hence why death I insist
The concept of ceasing to exist
Society has long learnt to resist
Instead this very idea I embrace
It drapes itself on me wherever I go, soft as lace
Once I’m gone everything will be erased
Just like I hoped, I will leave no trace
Things gonna hurt at first but time will heal
Really, isn’t all this ideal?
Maybe it’s just me
But that’s how I want things to be
In life all that I kept to myself in a seal
I cannot, and do not know how to bring myself to reveal
You’re right my heart is made of steel
To me though it’s no big deal
After I’m gone I won’t be worried
In death the truth will forever be buried
Dedicated to no one in particular
Jerry sorry for my shut down :l
Far as i see it,
ReplyDeleteYou know You want to die.
But do You know why?
Far as i see it .
Life is easy.Because i know the truth.you are divine and so am I.
The world is mine.
The people are my friends.
You have let lifes idiots fool You into sorrow.Namely your classmates n ppl around you.
They are pretty responsible for your pain.
Plus it is You who is also responsible for how you feel.
Do You accept that?
It is the most hardest thing to accept..and the hardest thing to do.
You know You are sad but do you know WHY?
But
All You have to do is start to change things..THINGS can be changed.
But it is human nature to not change.You have to overcome it.
You and only You is responsible for the thoughts You choose to think.
What you choose moulds how you feel.
My life revolves around spirituality.
I am happy.
I know how life works.
By knowing myself..i Feel i know everyone and everything..I am always connected to this.
My secret is this great link..i feel it.It makes me happy.it is real.
Spirituality makes me lucky.
I know life and i dont fear it.
I just like you,dont fear death either.
Spirituality is happiness.Although i dont care for happiness either.
I live because i choose to.
The great secrets my spiritual journey taught me is that
You are a divine being.So am I,so is everyone.
We are not alone.
You are forever loved.infinetely and eternally.
Everything is going to be alright.
I am in this world because i choose
it.i love it.Love women.life.pain.pleasure.happiness.sadness.EVERYTHING.
I give myself purpose.Of helping myself and others..I do not care for life or death because it dosent matter but i choose to live because when you know what i know.life is freaking awesome.
There are some laws of life.Universal ideals.embrace them and it will be all cool.Like the laws of science..we are affected by them whether we know it or not.
Spirituality and the light my dear girl is the key to my happiness and can be yours.it is a great strength.
In other news.seems like You have a boyfriend! Jerry ..hmm nice.
Oh n i qualified for medicals..haha.:)n
Take care my dear.Good poem..way beyond your age level.I told You.you are exceptional.genius..recognising that and living with free will and the right things will set you free.
Hmmm. Talk about hearing from you FINALLY! It's been ages. Thought you had abandoned me for good 😔 oh no jerry isn't my boyfriend -_- ( as if ) Thanks for more flattery and really lovely words blah blah... Omg you qualified for finals! I'm so happy for you good job good job!!! Now I'm wondering if you ever read replies to comments :/ you're the smartest bestest nicest most intelligent guy I know !!! All the best okie? I don't have a device at the moment so yeah... When you getting yours? Really wanna talk to you again soon missed you :( love ya
ReplyDeletePs life is going downhill at the moment
Hey..Yesterday 3 am i woke up in the middle of thr night from a dream(something about family n,cousins)
DeleteReflecting on the dream made me
realise some things
- I came to know that all YOU(Eileen) need is the feeling of family and thats what I will give You.
Love and care.
The lack of that is a
Very big part part of what saddens You.
You dont need my(or anyones) words..
You need this real feeling.Family.Affection.
***
Plus I learnt that the sense of belonging,family n friendship belonging is a key part of happiness.
Affection,love,sense of family,togetherness,warmth,feeling of being accepted and the these are "my people",my loved ones, feeling.
Family is not just the genetic family right.
We choose our family.
Oh plus i learnt some other things.
personal,
My smartphone.. I am supposed to have it delivered by 11th June.
.
So..we will talk soon.Thank You for the congratulations and luck..
I still have to go through the admission though and There's a scam in the All india pre medical test(People were cheating large scale) so there may be a country wide retest.
Sigh..:)
Still,Ive qualified for west bengal pmt.(a seperate test)
Hey,I like You.
You ignore what parts should be ignored from my messages :)
(The long parts...).
You are very open and accepting of people(of me at least).
Its nice.
Plus You are fun.Quirky.
..okay,why is life down now? Would You say..
School? People..Just like that..f theres anything I can do,Just say
P.s
I have never met anyone like You.
So...hold on,
Life is a rollercoaster.
It goes down and up.Just hold on :)
Ok so you do read replies. I remember you said Anupam means unique. Is it a derived word in some language or something? How does it mean unique?
Delete