"We're all in the same game, just different levels. Dealing with the same hell, just different devils."
Everyone wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. I can fear death no longer, I' ve died a thousand times.
PLEASE PROCEED TO EILEEN.COMXA.COM
Darling You'll Be Okay
Sunday, April 12, 2015
now i cant wait to be older
If only im old enough argh
Research chemicals? haha. You won't be posting this in ASM if you intended 'em to be used for research.
I happened to come across your blog while searching for ASH related stuff. Know what, I'm a ASHer too! I'm from Singapore as well. I just want to tell you, you are not alone. My life isn't exactly too pleasant either. Basic family crap and drama, uh?
BUT. But. You're only a little little kid. I'm really heart broken to see kids like you suffer too. Listen, child-you have a bright future . Really. I know you're probably sick of the "You will be okay" crap, because I have grown sick and tired of that too. Why, you're in NUS High! and you got 263 for PSLE! That's way way batter than me. I'm a failure, that's why I joined ASH in the first place, anyway.
I can feel your frustration with ASH being closed down. That just sucks! I heard from the other ASHers that someone called Natasha Gordon used the alias "Katy" to gather information in ASH and ASM. I don't get why the hell is she doing that, because she is probably the one that got ASH banned. Don't you just detest pro-life enthusiasts that have absolutely nothing to do and loves interfering with the ASHers. DO THEY UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF LIFE?! THE MEANING OF LIFE IS NOT ABOUT BEING OBLIGED AND FORCED TO EXIST IN THIS WORLD, FOR THAT WOULD BE TOTALLY AND UTTERLY POINTLESS.FREEDOM OVER LIFE, AS WE SAY.
WE AHSERS ROCK. I MEAN SERIOUSLY.
I looked up on hydrogen cyanide and Nembutal, as these two seems like the best painless ways that you can go. i just read somewhere that Nembutal is really bitter and tastes so horrible youd puke at the first dose, but having that aside it is so fking expensive and illegal . so is cyanide. i know you can get hydrogen cyanide from synthesizing methane and ammonia, but that requires extremely high temperatures (>1000) so it's impractical. Have you thought about methods yet? I would like to discuss it a bit with you. I've sent you an email. If you don't mind, though. cheer up child! Life is nothing but a disaster, and we will have freedom soon! I too believe suicide is civil right.
All the best in life and the end of life! be careful when catching the bus, it will be a bumpy ride. :(
hi friend, sure we can discuss. I'd love to hear from you. from the way you speak, i assume you are older than me and you have some experience. even though i might have done tons upon tons of research, nothing beats experience. and yes, im still a kid, i probably dont know that much.:/ it is such a assurance to hear that you are a fellow singaporean asher too. ya know, singaporeans in ash is rare, most of them are from the us or canada or uk or au. sigh
I feel you.
I'm thinking, if i have a chance to plan a head, i can do with some hanging or strangulation, but i think probably it will be the case when the last straw comes and i decide, finally, i am going to die, NOW. at this minute. in that case i will just choose jumping (practical&trouble left to the police) considering the abundance of high rise buildings in singapore. unfortunately unlike in the us we cant own guns, so yeah. (even if i owned one i wont use it though, i still spare a thought for the poor soul who's going to find me, i dont want him/her tramautized for life)
i'm just suggesting, best&most practical&hassle-free & pain-free method is jumping. yes, pain free cos according to my research and physics, due to the high velocity, you will be unconscious before reaching the ground. try to land head first. ***BEST PART*** the whole thing only lasts a split second, in a moment youd just be memory and once you take that step, theres no going back.
just consider the passers-by though, i try not to affect others i have nothing against too much-they dont deserve to be involved.id do it at night, probably. my parents wont be up to stop me in time or stuff. ya know ya have to do your best to prevent intervention.
however bumpy the rider, it will be a smoother journey than life!
Hi Eileen!
ReplyDeleteI happened to come across your blog while searching for ASH related stuff. Know what, I'm a ASHer too! I'm from Singapore as well. I just want to tell you, you are not alone. My life isn't exactly too pleasant either. Basic family crap and drama, uh?
BUT. But. You're only a little little kid. I'm really heart broken to see kids like you suffer too. Listen, child-you have a bright future . Really. I know you're probably sick of the "You will be okay" crap, because I have grown sick and tired of that too. Why, you're in NUS High! and you got 263 for PSLE! That's way way batter than me. I'm a failure, that's why I joined ASH in the first place, anyway.
I can feel your frustration with ASH being closed down. That just sucks! I heard from the other ASHers that someone called Natasha Gordon used the alias "Katy" to gather information in ASH and ASM. I don't get why the hell is she doing that, because she is probably the one that got ASH banned. Don't you just detest pro-life enthusiasts that have absolutely nothing to do and loves interfering with the ASHers. DO THEY UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF LIFE?! THE MEANING OF LIFE IS NOT ABOUT BEING OBLIGED AND FORCED TO EXIST IN THIS WORLD, FOR THAT WOULD BE TOTALLY AND UTTERLY POINTLESS.FREEDOM OVER LIFE, AS WE SAY.
WE AHSERS ROCK. I MEAN SERIOUSLY.
I looked up on hydrogen cyanide and Nembutal, as these two seems like the best painless ways that you can go. i just read somewhere that Nembutal is really bitter and tastes so horrible youd puke at the first dose, but having that aside it is so fking expensive and illegal . so is cyanide. i know you can get hydrogen cyanide from synthesizing methane and ammonia, but that requires extremely high temperatures (>1000) so it's impractical. Have you thought about methods yet? I would like to discuss it a bit with you. I've sent you an email. If you don't mind, though. cheer up child! Life is nothing but a disaster, and we will have freedom soon! I too believe suicide is civil right.
All the best in life and the end of life! be careful when catching the bus, it will be a bumpy ride. :(
hi friend,
Deletesure we can discuss. I'd love to hear from you. from the way you speak, i assume you are older than me and you have some experience. even though i might have done tons upon tons of research, nothing beats experience. and yes, im still a kid, i probably dont know that much.:/
it is such a assurance to hear that you are a fellow singaporean asher too. ya know, singaporeans in ash is rare, most of them are from the us or canada or uk or au. sigh
I feel you.
I'm thinking, if i have a chance to plan a head, i can do with some hanging or strangulation, but i think probably it will be the case when the last straw comes and i decide, finally, i am going to die, NOW. at this minute. in that case i will just choose jumping (practical&trouble left to the police) considering the abundance of high rise buildings in singapore. unfortunately unlike in the us we cant own guns, so yeah. (even if i owned one i wont use it though, i still spare a thought for the poor soul who's going to find me, i dont want him/her tramautized for life)
i'm just suggesting, best&most practical&hassle-free & pain-free method is jumping. yes, pain free cos according to my research and physics, due to the high velocity, you will be unconscious before reaching the ground. try to land head first. ***BEST PART*** the whole thing only lasts a split second, in a moment youd just be memory and once you take that step, theres no going back.
just consider the passers-by though, i try not to affect others i have nothing against too much-they dont deserve to be involved.id do it at night, probably. my parents wont be up to stop me in time or stuff. ya know ya have to do your best to prevent intervention.
however bumpy the rider, it will be a smoother journey than life!
all the best,
eileen
AND YES, WE ASHERS ROCK
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